[Iceman]

Очередной список правил
(может уже было)

1. Power metal fans, no matter what you do, you are gay.
2. Do not enjoy MANOWAR; they are gay.
3. Never go outside carrying a sword.
4. Don’t hold you sword and scream “poweeeeeer of steeel.” That is Brokeback.
5. Do not talk about fantasy lyrics as if they belong in metal.
6. Do not talk about fantasy worlds.
7. Never talk about hobbits. Hobbits are gay.
8. Do not have a band that has the word or variation of the word Elf in it.
9. Don’t say Hail and Kill. That is quite Brokeback.
10. Avoid saying, “Man, that guy sure has a great falsetto!”
11. If most of the singers in the bands you enjoy have voices higher than your girlfriend, you are gay.
12. Scratch that, you have no girlfriend.
13. Do not buy a CD that has the word Dragon in it. Dragons are not gay but you cannot push your luck.
14. Avoid referring to Hammerfall as “the saviours“ or “the templars.”
15. Don’t listen to Hammerfall more that twice a year. Hammerfall is gay.
16. Do not live in your parent’s basement.
17. Do not live with your parents.
18. Do not ask your mother to wash your Tolkien underwear.
19. Try to play chords that do not sound like second rate Helloween.
20. That’s all you know? You are gay.
21. Do not go to Renaissance fairs. That is beyond Brokeback.
22. If you go, do not wear a Peter Pan outfit.
23. Do NOT carry your sword.
24. If you see a maiden, ask for a blowjob.
25. Don’t talk to her about MANOWAR. Refer to rule 2.
26. Do not refer to intercourse as “returning the dragon to its lair.”
27. Scratch that. You do not have intercourse.
28. Do not listen to Faggoth.
29. Power Metal and Faggoth combined make you a drag queen.
30. Do not get offended when people say that Stratovarius sounds like Helloween.
31. Do not write personal letters to Timo Tolkki.
32. Avoid saying slays.
33. Don’t refer to Death Metal as “cookie monster crap.”
34. If you do not like Death Metal, pretend to know something about it.
35. Cradle of Filth is not Death Metal. Fag!
36. Cradle of Filth is not Black Metal. Fag!
37. Never enjoy Cradle of Filth. See 101 Rules of Black Metal.
38. Don’t masturbate to a picture of Yngwie Malmsteen.
39. Don’t masturbate to a picture of Manowar. Cretin.
40. Don’t masturbate wearing leather.
41. Don’t masturbate wearing armour.
42. Switch hands.
43. Avoid saying the word “Power” too often.
44. If you have a band do not use the following words in your song titles: False Metal, True Metal, Sword, Steel, Heathen, Warrior, Metal Kings, Battles.
45. Try to communicate with non-metal listeners. Do not brush them off as Posers.
46. Do not wear frilly shirts. Leave that up to Boy George.
47. Never say “Heavy metal or no metal at all.” In other words, don’t be gay
48. Don’t wear loincloths. You know what’s coming… Brokeback!
49. Don’t scream “metal brother” at concerts unless you like beatings.
50. Don’t be Dani Filth...err I mean, NEVER carry your sword outside your house!
51. Refer to rule 1.

[bloodyMary]

Power of the power of the power of the power of the power of the holy emerald sword!!!
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Для участия в сайд-проэкте требуется Майк Портной или же человек, крайне на него похожий.

[Iceman]

[arthurgal]

большей глупости я в жизни не читал!!!

[Дима]

улыбнуло.

[$Hangman$]

Баян Баяныч

[Дельфин]